Sunday, January 17, 2016

Several situations at work

The project I was working on for 2,5+ years is ending.
Today I was looking through my mail and discussions in various messengers and have found several funny (at least from my biased point of view) situations, which I'd like to share. They show a difficulty of producing a big project with a lot of developments. The situations are modified a bit to be less personal.
Consultants (C), testers (T), Developers (D). managers (M).

3 developers and 2 consultants are discussing a report. User's expectations of the report are unknown, but all the participants of the discussion have different opinions on how the report should work...
M: This video "The expert" (about 7 parallel lines) is really funny! Clients are so crazy and unreasonable sometimes!
C, T, D: Should we tell them that mirror may show them a similar thing? :)
T: A bug! I have found a bug! Here is it!
D: Let me see... several minutes of hitting the keyboard - there is no bug, I don't know what are you talking about!
T: But it was there! *pouts* I have no proof, but I sense that it was your doing!
D: I won't tell anything :)
C: You test bad! The quality is contrary to our expectations!
T: Could you tell us your expectations at least now?
C: You should test better!
several days later
T: Here is a bug, one more, another one, also this and that...
C: Stop it! There are too many bugs already! :)
C: Why additional document for this document isn't created? I told you to remember about these cases! How are you testing? Must I retest everything myself?
T: Well, here is the same example of 2 weeks ago. You told that time, that it is correct. And the responsible team checked it.
C: ...
T: We need to show this functionality to users now, so that we can fix all the problems in time.
C: Nope.
3 months later.
C: Today is the training session on this functionality and nothing works! And only 1,5 weeks are left before UAT.
T: ...
C: We need you to create test examples for all functionality of the system, check and fix all issues and prepare master-data for all test scenarios. You have two weeks.
T: But this is impossible!
C: You are telling us that you can't create several simple objects in the system?
T: We can, but...

C: Then do it! You have clear requirements after all. Ah, almost missed one more thing: write manuals and train users. And don't forget to be motivated by having an opportunity to work on this awesome project!
T: If I enter "*random strange text*" there will be dump! And I you copy the object, delete the new object, copy this deleted object and repeat this exactly 6 times, there will be another dump! Also if I use a price of a milliard $ for a gallon of oil, there will be an overflow dump! And if I select this line and delete it with a keyboard shortcut, there will be a strange dump! And if I..
C,D: Shut up, crazy pervert! How do there abnormal creatures even appear? :)
And the last one:
- No one likes testers!
T: It isn't true! We like ourselves!

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